DYING BEFORE ONE’S  TIME

I woke up this morning with this crazy question in my mind: "Am I going to die before my time?
Then I asked myself: "How can I know when 'my time' will come? One thing's for sure: we're all going to die, but we never know when. Because it has nothing to do with our will, it's something we have no control over. Unless it's a "suicide", the individual will indeed decide when he or she dies. Fortunately, that's not the case for me today.

Many years ago, when I was still a teenager, I read a lot about suicide, mainly in Max Weber. I became so interested in the question that I wanted to feel what suicide was like. I admit I thought about it, but after a while I gave up the possibility.

Is it true that most people are afraid of death?
I can ask why, but it's so personal that everyone will give a different answer.
In my case, I don't fear it.

I don't even think about it. Over the years, I've learned from the Stoics that you have to accept it. And I've accepted it. I learned from the famous emperor Marcus Aurelius that: "Death smiles on us, all man can do is smile back". I enjoyed reading his book "Meditations", and I've taken several quotations from it that are dear to me. When I associate time with death, I hear Hector Berlioz say to me: "Time is a great master, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils".

One thing is important: man needs to live with some knowledge of the purpose of life, because if there is no purpose in life, death becomes inevitable. Of course, we can all ask ourselves "what is life?" and get lost in a series of misunderstandings. Should we really be asking ourselves this question, or should we rather rejoice in living and try to do our best?

Jean Paul Sartre had an amazing quote: "Death is the continuation of my life without me". Interestingly, I've always thought the same thing, but never added "without me". Where is the me if I no longer exist? I know I'm no more, so what's the point?

Another lesson can be drawn from Cicero: "I do not wish to die, but I do not care to be dead". And here he's right in line with my own thoughts, i.e., if I'm dead, why should I care? I've just turned eighty, and this process is called growing old. Does that bring me closer to inevitable death?  No, it doesn't! I'm going to go on living!

And when I talk about death, I forget that I have to avoid the emotional aspect. I have to remember that reality can be overwhelming. I know that many thinkers before me have considered the way we talk about death. All I hope is that the reader can appreciate what I write and not understand. Yes, we can use euphemisms, synonyms, more polite ways of presenting death, but in the end, the dead is gone and he or she has left us. he or she is at rest now that he or she is buried, yes, it all comes to an end. They are gone, but not forgotten.

I can use a lot of finer words to make things more palatable, but again, the bottom line is that the deceased is gone and the partner will now be called a widow. The expression "a matter of life and death" is well known, but it combines both words, the good and the bad. Correction! There is no right or wrong here. I hope we can understand the dynamics of these two words.  

 Before completing this exercise, I'm tempted to use what I consider to be finer words to make it sound better for the family of the deceased. How about disappearance, passage, expiration, mourning, departure, passing, release, sleep, fate, oblivion, life after death, cessation of...I won't use darkness or end, mortality or necrosis.

In my case, I've ceased, I've stopped, I'm about to leave this passage that I personally find interesting. It looks like I've given up, but no, I haven't.

By the way, for those who are very curious, I counted 864 words for death. As you may have noticed, I've used very few here.